Born in the wrong era

I really am beginning to think that I was born in the wrong era of time. Since Jess was born I have really gotten into alot of the natural lifestyle. Of course I have always been a big advocate for breast feeding as long as you can and believing in yourself and your body for a natural birth but I have dove so much farther. I started with attachment parenting, moved to cloth diapers, then added in homemade baby food and I started knitting. That wasn't enough for me. I started dyeing my own yarn to create my own one of a kind colors for pants for Jess. Now I have also started knitting things like dresses for my neice and comfy slippers for my family. My newest obsession? Spinning yarn. It looks so easy and like so much fun. I can't wait for my spindle to get here so that I can start spinning. I wish I could afford a really nice spinning wheel, but those things are insanely expensive (seriously we are talking a few hundred for a "cheap" one). Who knows maybe one day I will have one :). But this whole "earth-mother" thing (as my mother calls it) has really gotten me. I enjoy every minute of it. Most of the things I am into are the things that the "hippie" mothers did in the 60's and early 70's. My family and probably 99% of my friends don't understand why I do the things I do. But they are amazing! Having these hobbies are great. They can get expensive but I love the satisfaction I get when I complete a pair of pants for Jess and put them on him or sell to someone and they love them. It is really an exciting world. Luckly I have found great "communities" (quotes because they are online forums) that have helped me feel like I am not so crazy. You should see the looks I get when I say I knit Jess's pants or am spinning yarn. People think I have gone off the deep end. And maybe I have, but since I have started all of this, I have found myself as a mother and a person. I know I am out of the "norm" being who I am, but it is a great feeling. I love every minute of it and I wouldn't change it for the world. I joke alot with Greg saying that I would fit in perfectly in the Amish and Mennonite world if I could live without my cell phone and internet. LOL.

Irritated with dumb people.

I can't understand people at all. Today I texted all of my family and Greg's family to let them all know Greg's offical deployment day and time. Within a few hours everyone in MY family had sent a text back, e-mail or something saying something like "he's in our thoughts" or "hope he safe" etc. NONE of Greg's family has said a damn thing. Greg's mom is forgiven for the moment because I know they are in Michigan in an area with really bad cell phone recepetion (so she gets a bye until they get back on Wends). But his brother and sister haven't said anything. Of all people his sister I can't believe. I mean she is former army, her husband is army (who has been deployed to 2 times to the same place Greg is going and he knows the dangers of the area). You would think they would at least call and say goodbye or something. I am probably crazy, but I think it is crappy. I have a great feeling that Greg is going to be just fine while he is deployed, but still dammit you never effing know what is going to happen in any part of life. If your family member was going to a war zone, wouldn't you want to talk to them before they left? I mean WTF?! Who does that shit? Greg wonders why I get so irritated with his family. He says this is normal family behavior but my family is "abnormal". And you know what if this is considered "normal" family behavior I want my abnormal family and I want to raise my kids to be abnormal too.

I couldn't even imagine

I just watched a show on MTV (not a normal channel for me to watch) called 16 and Pregnant. This particular episode showed a couple giving their baby up for adoption. I can't even imagine how these 16 year olds are doing it. I couldn't even fathom giving my children as an adult, let alone a teenager. I don't even know these kids and I am so proud that they made a good decision for all the right reasons (they explained it in the show). They deserve so much credit for what they did. I kept waiting for them to change their minds and tehy never did waiver. It was just so hard to watch. I cried for them, and for the adoptive parents. It's amazing that some people can make really grown up decisions that are the hardest decision they will ever make in their lives. I don't know what I would do if I was ever in their position at their age. I just have so many thoughts going through my mind right now that don't make any sense. I can't stop crying. I am seriously just bawling my eyes out over this.

Ok, sorry for rambling, I just, I mean....wow, just wow.

Parenting

I am so sick and tired of being criticized about my parenting. I know that I am a bit hard on my kids, but I want them to grow up with respect. I do not allow my children to run crazy and be extremely loud anywhere in public. This includes "family" places like McDonald's, Burger King, etc. I can't understand how people can allow their children to run around and act crazy. It's not respectful to the other people in there or even the workers. I don't mind my kids having a good time, but they don't need to be crawling around empty booths, playing tag, running indoors, screaming or being extrememly loud. To me, my children should sit on their bottoms, eat their food, then they can play quietly together or with other kids. IF there is a play area, I have no problems letting them run and be a bit louder in those areas because that is what they are designed for. I also require my children to say "yes, no thank you, please, thank you, yes ma'am/sir, no ma'am sir". It is unacceptable for my children to say "yea, uh-huh, whatever," and things of that nature. I also would wash my childs mouth out with soap if they EVER tried to say things like "I hate you" or "I don't love you" because someone doesn't give them their way. I simply will not put up with. I am starting to teach Jessiah certain things. He can't comprehend everything yet, but he knows to say please and thanks. We have issues on some days, but he is only 18 months old. He can't get it all yet!

Now let's talk about clothing. I am trying very hard to teach my 6 year old appropriate dress. It is very hard when she sees people younger than her dressed like a hoochie. I am more strick than most when it comes to clothing. We do not allow short shorts (except at home INSIDE our home), most speghetti strapped shirts, halter tops, strapless tops, dresses shorter than mid-thigh (actually a little longer on lizzie). We require her to cover her self up. She has to understand that her beauty goes much deeper than her clothes and her body. My daughter has a beautiful spirit and personality. I want people to see that rather than how long her legs are or how skinny she is. I also dress her in a very age appropriate matter. She doesn't get to wear hip hugger jeans or jeans, pants, shorts, or shirts that are extremely tight or have in appropriate graphics on them. For example, on my way to GA we stopped at a gas station to grab some snacks, I saw a girl that was lucky to be 10 years old. She was wearing a heavy amount of make up, a pair of really tight SHORT (I could see 1/2 her butt cheek sticking out) shorts, and a t-shirt that said "I make the boys drool". I about fell over flat! I couldn't imagine letting my 16 year old dress like that let alone my 10 year old. Like I said I know I am a bit extreme in the clothing area, but damn kids grow up so fast on their own, do they really have to accelerate it by the way they dress?

Say what you will about my parenting, but I get nothing but compliments on their behavior (even Jessiah's). I am constantly being told how polite, and well behaved they are. Lizzie's teacher said this year (during her big problematic months) that she was the most respectful child even during her tantrums. She would be upset over somthing and STILL would say "yes ma'am" "no ma'am" "please" and "thank you". It was kind of humourous to the teacher and principal because niether of them had ever experienced something like that before but still. Bottom line, just because I don't let my kids manipulate me and act like wild animals doesn't mean I am a bad parent. 99% of people that know my kids (and REALLY know them) can see how happy and well adjusted they are.

Cloth Diaper Info

Alright, since I have had quite a few people asking me for info on cloth diapers in the past month or so, I thought I would put it all out here for you guys. I will do a little info on each time of diaper and some links to find them. I know I will miss some things so I tried to include lots of informational pages to go to as well. I don't know much about AIO and AI2's so there isn't a whole lot of info on those, but I got what I could. So here we go:

Prefolds
Prefolds are the oldest and probably simplist and cheapest type of cloth diaper out there. When you say you are using cloth people automatically start thinking of these. Prefolds are great for new babies and no so heavy wetters. Prefolds require some sort of cover (more info to come). Now once upon a time the only option you had with prefolds were pins. Now there is a great new invention called the snappi (http://shop.thegoodmama.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=1431) that eliminates the sticks and pain of pins. Prefolds due require folding into a "diaper" shape. A good place to get different folding techniques is: http://www.thediaperhyena.com/diaper_folding101.htm. This has several different styles of folding.
Even with a diaper as simple as a prefold there are many different options. First we will start with gerber prefolds (which you can find a walmart, target, etc). These will do the trick if you need to use them. However they are not very absorbant and your baby will require alot of changes. Next we will move on to Diaper Service Quality diapers. These are what you get if you ordered a diaper service. A few stores to buy them from:
http://www.greenmountaindiapers.com/
http://www.little-lions.com/
http://www.littlesproutsdiapers.com/prefolds.htm
There are also some WAHM (work at home mom) made prefolds out there. These give you a snugger fit to your prefold, generally with less folding. A few of my favorite stores are:
http://hyenacart.com/pbellie/
http://hyenacart.com/zabibaby/

FITTEDS
These diapers go on like regular diapers and are mainly equipped with snaps or velcro. Just like the Prefolds, these do require covers. A few advantages of these over prefolds are that they are more absorbant, no pins, no folding, and are a bit easier on the go. Again you have several different types of these as well.
http://shop.thegoodmama.com/ (this is all we use)
http://www.kissaluvs.com/
http://www.thirstiesbaby.com/fab_fitted.htm
http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?cPath=28&products_id=895
http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?cPath=28&products_id=903
There are many more options for fitteds these are just a few of them out there.

Pockets
Pockets (in my opinion) one of the easiest and most convient diapers to use. They do require you to "stuff" them with inserts, but they do no require any type of cover and are water proof. They are very fast and very effective. Alot of people (myself included) have found these great for overnight use. You can buy pockets that are "sized" or you can buy one size that normally go from about 9 lbs-40 lbs. If you are going to use pockets, I highly recommend getting the One Size because then you don't have to worry about having to replace them as you baby gets bigger.
http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?cPath=98&products_id=1279
http://www.blueberrydiapers.com/products/pockets/minkysnap
http://www.pamperedcheeks.com/
http://www.babykangas.com/

All-in-Ones or All-in-Twos
AIO and AI2's are great diapers. Most of these are sized only. AIO's are all one peice just like the Pockets, but require no stuffing, however they have about 2x's the drying time as other diapers. AI2's have a snap in insert that you can change as your baby needs changing. As long as the cover isn't soiled, you don't have to replace the whole diaper.
http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?cPath=98&products_id=1811 (AIO)
http://www.jamtots.com/BerryPlush-AIO-Package-P322C30.aspx (AI2's)

Covers
Covers are one of my favorite things to talk about. You have so many different options for covers it's insane. You have your basic "wrap" cover that is made out of PUL (think raincoat material), or you have fleece soakers, wool soakers, knitted/crochet soakers, etc. Personally, I would stay away from fleece soakers as they have a tendency not to absorb and get a smell build up in them. You will be washing them more than you do diapers on some occations. However, fleece, wrap covers, and interlock wool can all be washed and dried in the machine. For fleece or wool interlock soakers, check out www.hyenacart.com and search for them, there are HUNDREDS out there. Now the next option is knitted/crochet wool. These can be a bit pricey sometimes (unless you know some one that can make them, which I do! LOL). But these normally come in shorts, pants, skirties (with bloomers attached). They are so wonderful. First of all wool only must be washed once every 2 weeks (give or take). They must be handwashed, lanolized (which you can do in the same step with the proper wash) and hung to dry. I found the love for these after my first pair, it became so easy (especially since we use fitteds) so I didn't have to have extra covers to put on over his diaper to put on pants. Contrary to popular belief wool is good all year (seriously it is Summer in Florida and Jess wears wool and his skin stays cool now and in the winter it kept him warm). If you choose this meathod, I highly recommend Ewe Need It wool wash (it has lanolin in it so it's one step to wash/lanolize!) www.hyenacart.com/eweneedit. Lastly there are wrap covers. http://www.cottonbabies.com/product_info.php?cPath=36&products_id=1284 These are very easy to use and wrap around your baby's diaper making it water proof. Only Prefolds and Fitteds need any type of cover. The others are waterproof already.

Some neccisities
No matter what kind of cloth diapers you use, you will need a Wet bag. (Again go to www.hyenacart.com and search for them you can find some great ones) This is a way to store your dirty diapers without a smell reaking around your house. If you choose to use cloth wipes (which if you are washing diapers, why not right?) just buy some baby wash cloths (24-30 is plenty for a 1 week supply) and I recommend Ewe Need It Foaming Wipes solution (www.hyenacart.com/eweneedit).

More information
www.diaperswappers.com is a great place for more information. It is a forum where people buy and sell new and used diapers at great prices. If you are looking into cloth diapers, I strongly urge you to join Diaperswappers just to chat with other moms who do use them. The ladies there give great advice and love to help people get started. You do not have to buy or sell diapers to join there.

Mind racing full of craziness

I have gotten almost everything finished for me to start school in August. I have found a great and AMAZING daycare for Jessiah. I have never felt so comfortable with a daycare in my life. I know that when I take my son there, he will be taken care of, safe, and happy. Lizzie's school is all taken care of, even her uniforms. They will be here some time this month, so she will be ready to go. But then there is me. I am scared to death. This is my last shot at school and my dream. I want so bad to do good but am so scared I will fail. Telling anyone doesn't seem to help. When I tell them, I get "you'll be fine" or (my personal favorite, lol) "whatever is meant to be will be." I think it is meant to be for me to fulfiill this dream, why else would God keep giving me the opprotunities to do it. I am so scared of Anatomy though. It is the one class that can break me. I am not scared about any other class, not even my actual nursing classes am I afraid of! But the thought of this anatomy class gives me an anxiety attack (literally) and start shaking. I want to do this not just for my own selfishness, but for my kids. I want my kids to see that even when you make mistakes in your life you can still have your dreams. But the question on my mind is can I do it? I hope I can and I hope I don't fail them.

Starting fresh

I decided to wipe my blog clean and start over. This is the new and improved blog of my life. Don't read it if you plan to bash my thoughts and opinions because I am a weird person and my thoughts do not make sense to most people other than my self.