Saturday, July 4, 2009

Mind racing full of craziness

I have gotten almost everything finished for me to start school in August. I have found a great and AMAZING daycare for Jessiah. I have never felt so comfortable with a daycare in my life. I know that when I take my son there, he will be taken care of, safe, and happy. Lizzie's school is all taken care of, even her uniforms. They will be here some time this month, so she will be ready to go. But then there is me. I am scared to death. This is my last shot at school and my dream. I want so bad to do good but am so scared I will fail. Telling anyone doesn't seem to help. When I tell them, I get "you'll be fine" or (my personal favorite, lol) "whatever is meant to be will be." I think it is meant to be for me to fulfiill this dream, why else would God keep giving me the opprotunities to do it. I am so scared of Anatomy though. It is the one class that can break me. I am not scared about any other class, not even my actual nursing classes am I afraid of! But the thought of this anatomy class gives me an anxiety attack (literally) and start shaking. I want to do this not just for my own selfishness, but for my kids. I want my kids to see that even when you make mistakes in your life you can still have your dreams. But the question on my mind is can I do it? I hope I can and I hope I don't fail them.

1 comment:

  1. you'll be fine. whatever is meant to be will had to do it!

    you'll just have to accept that its going to be tough and you're going to have to work really really hard. but you CAN do it, just keep reminding yourself why you want this so much. and don't try to be supermom/student/wife either. you'll need some time to yourself to just relax and be you. get greg on board to help you wherever you need it. he will be a huge part of your success!